storyteller

Episode 3 It’s about time we got to the picnic, am I right? The car ride there was nothing out of the ordinary. Hearty banter punctuated by her ever so cheerful laugh. On occasion, we’d both steal a glance or two – the glance that upon closer inspection basically means stop this car and take me now. So, anyway we get to the picnic site. I had gotten us reservations at this perfect spot bang in the middle of nature and a carriage ride after. I know you’re thinking that’s a tad overkill for a first date but I don’t care. For all you know I could have had doves, a mariachi band and the whole nauseating ensemble. I laid out the Maasai leso I had brought and laid out the snacks. I almost do not recall what we were talking about because I kept zoning out, a lot. In my defense, it was all I could do not to kiss her there and then. So, like any reasonable, adult, I came up with a solution to that particular pickle. “Hey, I am terrible at timing so I’ll probably miss the perfect moment ...

I wish I could let you love me I am tired of being alone. I so very want to let you love me but I am afraid. Afraid to let you in Afraid if I let you in you will see just how truly unremarkable I am, how big an unattractive mess I am. Afraid that not even your love can fill the empty void that is my soul. Afraid that I’ll eventually hurt you like I hurt anyone who so dares to get that close to my radioactive-like darkness. Afraid that you will flee at the first sight of the echoing abyss I have for a soul. Afraid my darkness will consume your light along with any glimmer of hope that you had, that we had. Afraid that this may end like it did last time, and the time before last – with me alone, broken, sad and depressed. Afraid that if I let you in you will see how undeserving I am of love and will duly take a permanent leave of absence from my otherwise vain existence. Afraid that when you eventually see me for who I am you will leave me and take with you my only reas...

 Yes, it’s 3 am again and I am still up. I know what you’re thinking, the demons won’t let me sleep. Well, yes but actually no. There is just something about these so-called ungodly hours you know. Thoughts are clearer and the demons are asleep or too tired to be of any nuisance. So, why am I up? I blame it on caffeine and being insomniac. As long as I have you, I might as well tell you what’s up.   So, there’s this girl, right? I feel like that’s the start to any tragic story but no matter, tupo site anyweiz. You know how the story goes, boy meets girl, boy falls madly in love, boy gets heart broken, boy locks his heart up real good. All caught up? Anyway, aforementioned girl is back and is threatening to loosen the screws to locked heart one tiny screw at a time. If you ask me, I'd very much like her to again reign as queen supreme of boy's heart. So, that’s the conundrum we face. PS: It’s all fiction. Or is it? _storyteller