storyteller

 ITS JUST ANOTHER MONDAY PEOPLE!! I remember back in high school when we used to leave flowers on the table for female teachers who were sweet enough to blush, at least fake it as far as I know-well all but my business studies teacher- God, I hated her! You know what she said, Valentine’s day is for white people. In her defense, she kinda did have a point. Sit tight for one very interesting and peculiar history lesson. It is said this day has its origin from ancient Rome with some feast called Lupercalia being celebrated from the 23th to the 15 th .   During said festival, a goat and a dog were sacrificed by the men and women were whipped with the hides of the sacrificed animals with the belief it would make them fertile-I have never read anything more wrong on so many levels in my life, ever. I am not even sure I want to ever recognize the day ever again. So anyway, during the festival, a matchmaking lottery was carried out where men would draw names of women from a jar and...

  HOME I am having a very strong urge to start this with one of them wahenga na wahenguzi phrases, why? Because why not that’s why. Here goes nothing; Wahenga na wahenguzi hawakutupaka mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa waliponena kuwa home is a person-I cannot possibly overstate how fun that was. I don’t know about you guys but I think we all have that one special human who feels like home-nature of relationship notwithstanding. I will not even attempt to put into words how safe said person makes you feel. Everything around you could be going to shit but when that someone gives you one of those loooooong hugs and tells you its going to be okay, you actually believe it-they could tell me the earth was flat and I would defend that thesis like my life depended on it. The person who comes to mind when the tiniest of inconveniences, like the barrister spelling your name wrong, comes your way and you want to throw a proper tantrum is who I am talking about. Want to have a full-blown rant ...

Painkillers? Scientists say that emotional pain is just as bad as physical pain and that is the most accurate thing I have heard since they said the earth is round-come fight me flat-earthers. I have had busted knees, a dislocated finger, incessant pesky migraines and I still would choose them over emotional pain time and time again. The sad thing is there simply isn’t enough aspirin in the world to remedy emotional pain-if only failing captcha turned you into a robot and in that spirit, Autobots, Assemble!!! Motivational speakers drone on and on about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so did Kelly Clarkson by the way, and as much as its coming from a good place it sucks to admit that sometimes the pain does waaay (with extra a’s) more than just make a point that not being around feels like the lesser evil-don’t get me wrong though, I am in no way whatsoever the devil’s advocate. As a believer, the good book says that the big guy upstairs can’t give you more than you can ha...